13 Parenting Experts Share Their Top Tips for Raising Teens

Happy Autumn Everyone!

As you may recall, I published my first roundup post last month identifying 9 must-read articles for parents going into the school year.

Well, I have decided to publish a new roundup post this month, and I hope you enjoy the articles I’ve selected.

I enjoyed reading them, thinking about them, and introducing them to you.

I’ve included a nice mix of ways to improve communication with our teens, some good doses of reality, and important and provocative issues for us to think about and hopefully be inspired by.

Check them out, and as always, leave your thoughts in the comments below.

The Best Way to Fight With a Teenager

Dr. Lisa Damour

by Dr. Lisa Damour

drlisadamour.com · @LDamour

This article by Dr. Lisa Damour highlights the importance of healthy engagement with our teenagers at times of disagreement. She concludes that kids who learn to utilize problem solving skills with their parents are the least likely to have mental health or behavioral problems.

Read this article and you might just learn to think about struggles with your teenager as an opportunity rather than a headache.

Can Mindfulness Stop Internet Addiction in Teens?

Kira M. Newman

by Kira M. Newman

positivepsychlopedia.com · @KiraMNewman

This article reminds us that mindfulness may be more important than ever in an age of 24/7 access to the internet and social media.

Kids with mindfulness skills are significantly more able to avoid compulsive and addictive internet usage. Teaching our kids to manage their feelings and utilize healthy internet habits will pay dividends in long-term happiness and success.

How to Survive the Beach with a Group of Teenage Boys

Melissa Schmidt

by Melissa Schmidt

chaosandcheer.com · @chaosandcheer

I really enjoyed this description of Melissa’s beach outing with her teenage son and his friends — so familiar from that stage of life with our boys.

She does a great job of making chaos normal. You’ll enjoy it and it just might make you chuckle.

A Little Gratitude Goes A Long Way In A Marriage

Dr. Margaret Rutherford

by Dr. Margaret Rutherford

drmargaretrutherford.com · @doctor_margaret

I enjoyed this reminder from Dr. Rutherford to express gratitude… in this case, to one’s spouse for even the littlest of things.

And, how upon reflection, we all wish we had offered more appreciation in our lives.

So why don’t we?

Here are my thoughts:

• We get so caught up in our own little worlds, we barely notice each other.
• We feel guilty or less than the other, and don’t want to acknowledge those feelings.
• We’re focused on what we are not getting or what the other person is not doing, so we don’t want to express gratitude for what they are doing.

ADHD and High School: How to Help Teenagers Succeed

Dr. Kristin J. Carothers

by Dr. Kristin J. Carothers

childmind.org · @ChildMindDotOrg

This article offers sound advice to the mother of a 17-year-old with ADHD and struggling in school.

This girl was apparently doing well earlier and then as she moved into her junior year, her performance dropped off.

I would add that somehow, in this case, the “baton” of structure and responsibility wasn’t a clean pass from parents to teen. I think a few counseling sessions with parents and kid that focuses on aligning their efforts and roles as she moves towards young adulthood would be helpful, as well.

Otherwise, parents will revert to providing earlier structure that this teenager is likely to resist, and an ensuing Control Battle will interfere with the “baton” getting passed.

The One Time You Shouldn’t ‘Fake It Until You Make It’

Amy Morin

by Amy Morin

amymorinlcsw.com · @AmyMorinLCSW

This is an important topic from Amy Morin.

Many people — when trying to make a change in their behavior — feel unnatural, inauthentic or phony. Ultimately, they may shy away from following through on the new behavior.

In her article, Amy explains the difference between healthy authentic “faking” that can really help, and inauthentic “faking” that can actually backfire.

Read this and feel better about going after the changes you really want to make.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Teens

Amanda Smith

by Amanda Smith

schoolsocialworkerblog.com · @AmandaLcswa

This blog post by therapist and school social worker Amanda Smith names 10 things we should never say to teenagers, yet often we do.

This is a great “no beating around the bush” list and can make us all better communicators with our teenagers.

8 Reasons Why I Want My Daughter To Talk Back

Pamela Li

by Pamela Li

rookieparenting.com · @arookieparent

This short post by Pamela Li is a great way to get started teaching good communication skills to very young kids. Treat them like their thoughts and feelings matter and you’re giving them the world.

When Ms. Li says she thinks of herself and her daughter as equals, she means equal in value as human beings, not equal in their roles. She also makes the important point that teaching assertiveness skills to girls early is critical to preparing them to avoid giving in to historical societal expectations.

Finding Balance in Student Schedules

Betty Gootson

by Betty Gootson

shorecrest.org · @shorecrest

Written with elementary age kids in mind, this article highlights the importance of not over-scheduling. It seeks to emphasize that our children experience spending quality time alone without electronics.

This article is very applicable for teens, as well.

How a Cookbook Taught Young Girls Entrepreneurship

Jane Harbison

by Jane Harbison

dreamingbigforlittlegirls.com · @JaneHarbison

This guest post by Jane Harbison on the Teentrepreneur website can inspire us to empower our kids and teenagers.

Getting their ideas and efforts out into the world is a powerful experience for children and teenagers and helps them believe in themselves and feel relevant.

Why I Love Family Movie Night

Michelle Icard

by Michelle Icard

michelleinthemiddle.com · @michelleicard

Michelle Icard put together a really nice blog post about the value of introducing kids to old movies, and a way to make it happen.

I hadn’t thought about the way movies have changed… I thought I just stopped liking most movies.

I hope you enjoy her insights because I sure did!

To Raise Kids With More Empathy, We Need to Do Everything Wrong

Dr. Michele Borba

by Dr. Michele Borba

micheleborba.com · @micheleborba

This article by Michele Borba makes and backs up the claim that empathy and other pro-social skills are more important to happiness and success than high school grades.

It’s right on target and the bad news is that we’re losing the battle.

Michele writes that we need to start teaching and emphasizing empathy and other social emotional skills early in our children’s development. That’s quite true of course, yet I’ve found that teenagers can express many of those skills and values with a little coaching, support, and by participating in an emotionally safe school and home culture that supports them.

This realignment of values is important not only for our kids as individuals, it’s important for us to be able to address our issues as a society.

Parenting In The Social Media World

Rebecca Granet

by Rebecca Granet

newyork.cbslocal.com · @RebeccaGranet

This article by Rebecca Granet relates the serious struggle of one mother to keep her daughter safe from both the sexual content rampant in a teen’s social media feed, and social media’s addictive and distracting power.

As this mother describes it, she is “at war with Silicon Valley for her daughter’s brain.”

Clearly, mom is in a serious Control Battle with her daughter and electronic devices and social media can invite the Control Battle “Beast” into many unsuspecting homes.

A poignant reminder for parents to establish limits early and stay on top of accountability to those limits.

And there you have it — top tips from 13 respected experts on parenting!

Please, do me a huge favor — if you found this post valuable, please take a moment to leave a comment below and share it.

Also, I am excited to announce that my first book — Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle — is now available for purchase!

Click below:

• IndieBound
• Amazon
• Barnes & Noble

And if you think there might be a Control Battle happening in your family, please download my free self-assessment checklist just below this post.

— Neil