Now here’s a challenging topic!  How, with three kids and demanding jobs, do you manage to keep your marriage relationship fresh and intimate?  

Today we’re hearing from Jack in Akron Ohio who writes:

Dear Neil, 

I’m hoping you can help with an ongoing problem between me and my wife.  We have 3 wonderful children, 12, 7, and 3.  My problem is that my wife and I are drifting apart in our relationship.  Since having kids, my wife has not shown me much affection and seems to receive my overtures to her without enthusiasm.  We’ve had counseling and I’ve learned to have more understanding of how hard my wife works and not take her lack of enthusiasm so personally.  She works full time from home and handles most of the work with the kids. I work for a construction company and run several projects at a time.  I leave the house at 5:00 AM in order to get a workout in before work and get home around 6:00 PM. My evenings and weekends are all about the family; house projects or kids’ activities, so I’m always tired as well.  My wife’s been told that she needs to prioritize the relationship more and that we should have dates.  We’ve gone on some but there are often cancellations due to kids’ illnesses or childcare interruptions and frankly, they aren’t great when we have them. I love my wife and she says she loves me, but I don’t know if I want to stay in a marriage with unenthusiastic sex once a month. This is starting to feel like an unsolvable problem. Any advice would be welcome.

This invites a discussion of the role of women in our culture as well as some clear steps this man can take to shift away from blame and entitlement to authentic connection.