The Two Skills Every Couple Needs to Learn

Marriage is a huge transition for anyone, but if a couple doesn't learn 2 essential skills, it can be a disaster.

In this episode, Neil responds to a woman who is feeling stuck and hopeless about her marriage. She describes her husband as an uncaring, charming man who tries to make everything her fault.

Angie writes:

I’ve been married three years to my husband and I’m starting to feel hopeless about the marriage.He was wonderful when we were going out, but as soon as we married, he changed. The thoughtful and caring person I was with turned into a self-centered guy who does what he wants without regard for the fact that he’s married.
To make matters worse, if I bring things up or talk about my needs, he gets angry and accuses me of not liking him or not being satisfied. I’d walk but we have a one year old and frankly, I still love him. Also, he is the primary wage earner and I have full responsibility for our baby.
He agreed to marriage counseling but charmed the counselor and convinced her that I was hormonal and my emotional state and anger were the cause of our problems. Help!!

Thanks for writing in Angie and let’s see what we can do here. What I’m getting is that you are very upset and emotionally wrought about the state of your marriage, or should I say the state of your life. You are married to a guy who doesn’t meet your emotional needs; in fact doesn’t seem able to. You have a one-year-old and that can be overwhelming.

Parental Burnout

Angie, it seems that you are in a state of burnout. I’m really sorry that you aren’t getting to fully enjoy this time in your life. You really need support and empathy while you give your baby the nurturing love and support he or she needs. You being in a state of burnout, of course, doesn’t help your ability to think and act clearly when dealing with your relationship issues with your husband.

Learning and Growing in Your Marriage

In this podcast episode, I will explain the vital importance of couples needing a “learning and growing” attitude in order to build the skills for managing negative feelings and life problems.

Being in a relationship is challenging because we have the need to be true to ourselves while making room for our partner. Click To Tweet

To get to a healthy path forward, be mature in setting limits, clarify your needs, demonstrate appreciation and show empathy for your partner’s feelings. Marriage isn’t easy but if you take an empowered position, you can see if you and your partner have the potential for a growing relationship.

Please take care of yourselves. You Need It, You Deserve It, You’re Worth It. Bye for now.

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