The Healthy Family Connections Podcast

Episode 047 · Duration: 00:11:04

Create a Successful Holiday Break with your Kids

A client recently asked me about the holiday break time and what to do with her kids. She was concerned about all that downtime and the kids’ tendency to want to jump on their computers and play video games. She was worried that the holiday would be spent fighting with the kids over their computer time. A lot of families are dealing with this issue so let’s talk about it.

A couple of weeks off with no structure could be deadly for families. Bored kids turning down any parental ideas and teenagers sleeping into the afternoon and playing video games with their awake time would be a parental nightmare. And yet two weeks off for kids is a great opportunity for them.

The trick is to help your kids to set some goals and build some structure to accomplish those goals. No, every minute doesn’t need to be structured, but some goals and plans can make all the difference in the world.

So essentially we’re trying to accomplish a few things:

• Use the time productively; both from the need to take care of business piece, and for self-development. People who are good at both of these skills are best at achieving personal happiness and success.
• Learn planning skills; things don’t happen without planning.
• We also don’t want the easy distraction of electronic devices to take control of us and our free time.

We want all kids from 7 to 17 to learn and be reinforced with these skills.

Tips for Productivity

So for instance if your child or teen plays a musical instrument this is a great opportunity for them to put some extra time into it and really build their skills, steepen that learning curve, get themselves to a next level. Maybe prepare for a performance of some kind. Maybe it’s an opportunity for them to take out their easel and do some focused artwork if that’s their area of interest. Is there a sport or physical activity for them to improve in, or maybe just get in shape? Some more mechanically inclined kids can use this time to build or create something.

This time can also be a time of reorganization. Kids can go through their rooms and get it in order. Go through the school materials from the first semester file away what needs to be filed, clean off the surfaces and get ready for the next semester. Younger kids or teens who are organizationally challenged will need some parental support to accomplish this.

Then there are things parents can do with their children and teens. How about some outings within your local area? Almost every town has its historical sites, museums, nature and culture.

And then of course, is one of my favorite topics, cooking. It’s never too soon to teach your kids how to cook. If they already cook lets get some new recipes going. If they don’t know how, have them join you in the kitchen for some meal preparation. They can invite friends over and you and they can cook for friends. After all, they’re going to spend their whole lives eating; they may as well learn how to cook all that food that they’re going to need to eat. It’s a lot cheaper, healthier and more fun and delicious if you approach it right. Also, kids are proud of their cooking accomplishments and will eat what they cook, where they’ll turn down the same food if you simply serve it to them.

Making a Game Plan

So here is what you can do:

Let your kids know that you’re going to have a vacation planning session.
It’s great if you have a large white board, but at least some big sheets of paper to write ideas and schedules on. Talk about the opportunity to use the vacation time in a positive way. Sure there will need to be some “hanging out with friends” time, and catching up on sleep, but emphasize that you want them to establish some goals and do some positive things for themselves.

Make two or three lists:

• Things that need to be taken care of such as room reorganization, etc.
• Things that will be fun and healthy to invest their time and effort in, art, music, physical activity, or building something.
• Finally, things that can be done together as a family, outings, cooking etc.

Get some things in each category and then how they will be accomplished. Since some things involve their friends and changing circumstances, there will need to be flexibility, but put things in place and update things daily. Make the list a living, evolving thing that you engage with your kids with on a daily basis.

My Challenge to Parents

If kids spend their holiday on the computer playing games and doing social media they’ll go back to school brain dead. If they use their time productively, they will feel fulfilled, proud of themselves and ready for the next semester.

I know in many homes both parents will be working during this time and if you’re a single parent family, you are most likely working all or parts of this time, but limit the amount of time you let electronic devices be your babysitter. Set up expectations and supervision and support for your kids to be productive.

So readers: Let’s commit to teaching our kids to use their time wisely, and let’s show them how much fun it can be AND how rewarding it can be. And remember, like one of my clients once said, raising kids is the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification, so keep this in mind and know it will pay off big time, but it might take a while.

Thanks for tuning in today and special thanks to Stacey for encouraging this important discussion.
Please do feel free to come to my website at neildbrown.com and sign up for my weekly newsletter where there is plenty of helpful stuff there right now, and plenty more in the pipeline. And while you’re there, don’t forget to check out my new Empowered Parenting Class, and feel free to send the link to someone you know who might benefit. That simple act might be a transformative experience for someone you care about.

And please, take care of yourselves; you need it, you deserve it, you’re worth it. Bye for now.

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