What do you do when after reading a stack of parenting books, and trying to say everything just the right way, you get fed up and want to just “say it like it is?” 

Today we’re hearing from Josephina in Austin, Tx who writes: 

Dear Neil,

I’ve listened to your podcast and read parenting books including yours, but here’s what I don’t get. 

Can’t I just tell the truth about how I feel to my kids?  Does everything need to be positive when they are irresponsible, lazy, and disrespectful?  Why isn’t it acceptable to tell them that I’m disappointed in them, frustrated with having to constantly remind them to do their responsibilities, get off the couch, get off their phones. Frankly, I’m angry with them and their behavior and think they should know that. I want to be positive, but they don’t. I invite them to do fun things, take the dogs for walks together or a hike, even go to lunch, but they would rather be on their phones watching YouTube videos.

I grew up in a family of 8 kids and none of us talked back or needed to be told more than once to do anything. We never wanted our parents to be upset with us. I’m truly worried about my kids. How will they succeed in the world without any initiative or sense of personal responsibility?  I’ve tried the positive thing, but it isn’t working so now I’m going back to getting real. If I’m missing something, please let me know.

Neil provides Josephina with solutions for communicating with her kids by finding her own authenticity.