The battle doesn't end when you win. It ends when you stop fighting.

It’s an online video course built on Neil D. Brown’s 40-year clinical practice working with families just like yours. The course teaches parents a specific method for successfully addressing serious areas of concern parents are experiencing with their teenagers and young adults.

This method teaches parents to shift out of relationship patterns that support problems and establishes youth accountability in a new healthy pattern. The result is a teen who takes more responsibility for their own choices, and a parent who feels more confident, less exhausted and more connected.

The course evolved directly from Neil’s book of the same name, published by New Harbinger Publications.

The course is built around 11 modules, each about 15 minutes in length, delivered through expert-led videos, interactive worksheets, and practical resources. You’ll learn:

• How to identify and end control battles, those unhealthy self-perpetuating relationship patterns that support problem behaviors, and replace them with communication skills that support healthy growth and development.
• To clarify and create accountability to appropriate standards and expectations without creating control battles
• Neil’s amazing method for shifting motivation for managing responsibilities from parents to teens.
• How to rebuild lasting connection even when it seems like your teen is pulling away.
• See complete curriculum above.

You go entirely at your own pace — there’s no schedule or deadline. Most parents work through the 11 modules over a few weeks, fitting sessions in around their daily routine. You’ll have 3 years of access, so you can revisit specific modules whenever a new situation comes up — which it will, because teenagers keep developing.

The book is great and has helped many parents. It gives you the unique framework and the thinking behind the method. Yet the course gives you the implementation — it’s the coached, step-by-step version of what’s in the book, with interactive worksheets that help you apply the concepts to your specific situation, and instruction from Neil himself walking you through each stage. Essentially, it’s the actionable version of what’s in the book, and the course makes the concepts really pop so that you can apply them in real time.

While the book is great, many parents find the course easier to absorb and act on, especially when they’re in the middle of a difficult period and don’t have the headspace to read. If you haven’t read the book, you don’t need to — the course is complete on its own.

The course is $179 — a one-time payment with no subscription or renewal fees, and 3 year access to all materials including any future updates. There’s also a 30-day money-back guarantee. If you complete the course and genuinely don’t find value in it, contact us and you’ll receive a full refund, no questions asked.

Yes. Neil has worked extensively with neurodiverse teens throughout his 40-year career, and yes, it’s perfect for parents of youth with ADHD, and other neuro diverse conditions.

Neil’s method and the course are all about helping youth learn to take ownership of their responsibilities and their future. Each young person has their own set of strengths and weaknesses and the course allows parents to take all that into account while helping their youth develop their potential. The measure of success is effort and commitment, not a uniform standard of achievement.

One parent who completed the course shared: “Because of our son’s ADHD diagnosis, we accepted certain behaviors as just part of who he is. Neil helped us realize that allowing him to continue those behaviors and control our family was not going to be beneficial to him as an adult in our society.”

The method is built around shifting responsibility to your teen — which is especially important for teens with ADHD who need to develop executive function and accountability in a structured, supportive way.

It can be, and some of Neil’s most meaningful feedback has come from families in exactly that situation. One parent shared: “We were at our wits end. Our son was in and out of psychiatric hospitals with no end in sight. We used your approach, and we’re still in the process, but it’s so much better — our son is now back in school, and we have much more confidence in ourselves as parents.”

That said, the course is not a substitute for professional counseling or psychiatric care. Neil recommends using it alongside whatever clinical support your youth and family already has in place. In fact, Neil offers a free Therapists Guide for therapists to use with their clients.

Yes, in fact many teens and young adults display unhealthy, unproductive and uncooperative behaviors related to experiencing anxiety and depression. This leaves youth locked in a negative loop and leaves parents confused and frustrated about what to do. By using Neil’s method for shifting communication patterns while setting healthy standards and expectations, it offers parents the best path forward for helping their youth struggling with these symptoms. Many parents have their teens and young adults in therapy which is great.

This course will help facilitate the changes necessary for maximum recovery. You can always consider professional help and when you do, be sure to let any professional working with your youth know you are using this course and let them know about the free Therapist’s Guide for the course.

The course is most directly applicable to parents of teens roughly ages 12–19, covering the three stages of adolescence that Neil outlines in the course. Many parents of preteens report that the concepts taught in this course are completely relevant to their situations and have helped them enormously.

If you are struggling with a young adult, the concepts and skills are completely relevant and can be a significant part of unlocking a stuck or entrenched negative pattern and promoting progress. One simple change in language perfectly tailors the course for this age group: Use the words “support elements” in place of the word “privileges” and you will be 100% on target.

One parent taking the course and applying the method can absolutely make a difference — you don’t need to wait for your partner to be on board. That said, both parents applying the approach together is best and because the course emphasizes both positivity and accountability, taking the course together often brings parents with different priorities together. If you’re a single parent, the method is perfect for you.

How quickly things change depends on how serious the problem behaviors are and how long they've been going on. Many if not most parents will see changes quickly when parents shift their communication style as outlined in the first part of the course. The second part of the course that builds on the first part and focuses on establishing accountability to healthy standards of behavior will create a shift for even the most difficult situations.

Keep in mind that getting initial change is good, but creating lasting change is what you want. To address this issue and ensure lasting change, complete the course even when things improve.

First of all, the 30-day money-back guarantee means there’s no financial risk. If you complete the course and genuinely don’t find value in it, you’ll get a full refund. But significantly changing how you are dealing with your youth and the problems they present will be huge and can’t help but make a significant difference.

It’s important to assume that your teen or young adult wants to be happy, successful and affirmed for who they are. And by offering them the support and structure they need to achieve that, most youth will respond positively. Some teens and young adults have gone very far in the wrong direction with destructive, self-harming or addictive behavior. Some may be experiencing profound mental health or even psychotic symptoms and in these cases, a mental health intervention will be necessary for things to begin to shift.

The skills in this course can be a vital part of what to do before an intervention as well as what to do after it.  The most common reason the method doesn’t produce consistent or good results is because the principles are being used selectively rather than as a complete approach. The course addresses this directly.

Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, master family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host based in Santa Cruz, California. He has spent more than 40 years working with families, teenagers, couples, and individuals. He trained in Structural Family Therapy and Brief Therapy and has evolved his own highly actionable therapeutic model from that foundation.

His book Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle was published by New Harbinger Publications and reviewed by Library Journal as offering “a holistic, thoughtful and encompassing approach.”

He hosts the Healthy Family Connections podcast, now with over 270 episodes. He has been featured in national publications and media and now focuses exclusively on sharing his method with families, schools and behavioral health programs.

Neil now focuses exclusively on delivering his method through the course, book, speaking engagements and the Healthy Family Connections podcast rather than individual clinical practice. For questions about the course, you can reach the team at neil@neildbrown.com.

You’ll receive the 5 Phrases That Instantly Defuse a Teen Control Battle guide immediately by email — 8 pages covering the exact phrases you can use when your teen shuts down, escalates, or refuses to cooperate, plus 3 phrases to stop saying and why. After the guide arrives, Neil will follow up with a few more insights for parents of teens, then you’ll receive his weekly Healthy Family Connections newsletter with practical tips, new podcast episodes, and resources. You can unsubscribe any time.

Neil offers several free downloads at neildbrown.com/free-stuff, including a free parenting guide for navigating the teenage years, a chapter written specifically for teens called For Teens Only: Are We Stuck in a Control Battle?, a Parental Burnout Recovery Guide, and a Parent-Teen Control Battle Assessment to help you evaluate where you currently stand. The Healthy Family Connections podcast has over 270 episodes covering a wide range of family situations — all free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and at neildbrown.com.