Memorial Day is really a celebration with one purpose and two meanings. It was established as Decoration Day in 1868 to honor Union Soldiers who died in the Civil War and eventually came to honor all soldiers who died in American wars. Many of us have relatives and friends who died in wars and this Memorial Day can be a day to honor and remember and appreciate them.
For all of us, Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer and that can mean many things from vacations and a relaxation and escape from the tyranny of school schedules, to wondering how to keep our kids and teens productively occupied.
Here is something to keep in mind. Childhood and adolescence is a time of robust learning and growing. What kids and teens learn during these years will stay with them, and will become part of their knowledge, capability, even their identity. We don’t want to waste the opportunity of time this summer with no learning experiences for them.
Sure, down time with nothing scheduled to do is great, even important. That way kids can be creative and pick up a book or colored pencils, or a musical instrument. Even lay on the grass and decide what the cloud shapes resemble, “Do you see a hippo in that cloud over there?” “But wait,” you say. “My kid would just look at their phone.” Painfully true. So if there is going to be anything productive happening for your youth this summer, there will need to be some seriously enforced guardrails on device usage.
Here’s what we don’t want for your kid – endless scrolling, texting and otherwise screen staring.
Here’s what we do want:
- Get a job. Being accountable to someone who isn’t a parent or a teacher and getting paid to do something they rely on is a great maturing experience.
- Do important work at home such as yardwork, housework, cooking, or deep cleaning their bedrooms. Kids benefit from learning the jobs of home maintenance, particularly if they are taught and held accountable to doing it right.
- Helping out the elderly neighbors; even just visiting them is important. Let’s hear it for being part of a community.
- Going and visiting their cousins or grandparents who live out of the area. Building those connections can last a lifetime.
- Providing childcare for parents who need coverage. Important for lots of reasons.
- And of course there are many opportunities for volunteering and participating in local parks and recreation activities.
Health for kids comes from a few vital things:
- Physical activity and fitness
- Healthy eating
- Good sleep
- Positive social engagement
- Challenging learning opportunities
So let’s remember, your kid matters and they need to know that. So when you tell them to put away their device and get going on something active, it’s not to control them, it’s because they matter. Also remember, that your youth is far more capable than you know, and more capable than they know. So don’t be afraid to challenge them and of course, every communication to your youth, whether it’s setting a limit, pointing out an error, or holding them accountable, can be done with positivity. Not to shame them, fight with them, or put them down. It’s because it’s our job to mentor them and they’re worth our honest best effort.
Have a great beginning of summer.
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